Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Are you sinking or still swimming??

I’m having a very hard time grasping the fact
That it’s February 6th.
I’m not complaining though by any means:
The faster we get through winter, the better!
But I still can’t believe we are in February.
February is actually my least favorite month of the year.
It’s just an eehh month where nothing really happens.
There’s no monumental thing that happened for Dan and I,
No huge holidays,
Nothing but cold temperatures and winter precipitation.

February does weed out those who have lost that new years motivation
And those who have kept at it.
I’ve kept at it and am goin strong
(like Lance Armstrong having sex with his one nut…
do you think he screams LIVESTRONG while in the middle of it??)
Dan and I aren’t one to follow rules
(insert badassness here)
And have just been doing Les Mills Pump randomly and whatever workout we felt like doing that day.
This past weekend when we got tickets to each others gun show
And was flexing in the mirror like body builders do,
We decided that we should prroobbably follow their calendar.
I mean they have to know what they are doing right??
RIGHT (at least we hope so)!!
We’ve been kickin ass with getting fit and into shape,
Losing fat and gaining muscle.
And with this set course,
We’ll be lookin like Audrey and Jeff from Rules of Engagement
At the beginning of May J
Perfect time for us to show off our sexy new bods on our
Costa Rican adventure,
Our anniversary,
And summer in general!

I like to color coordinate, can't ya tell?
One thing that is kinda stinky dink
And like a big ol’ mind fuck is the freakin scale!
Hello Nicole- muscle is heavier than fat ya dumbass!
Well yes I get that…
But like most females people,
When trying to become healthier and lose fat,
It’s natural to step on the scale.
When that number stays the same or you lose like half a pound,
You get freakin discouraged.
Like there’s a little gremlin in there screwing with you
Because they know you’ll quit because you aren’t seeing what you want.
Well stupid little scale gremlin-
I say a big ol’ FUCK YOU and
A big ol’ PEACE OUT to the scale method.
I mean what really determines a healthier lifestyle anyway?
Some do say the scale- those that are just plain ol’ dieting.
Some say seeing your biceps get ginormous and no keg in front of your 6 pack.
I say when my pants get looser,
Feeling myself getting stronger,
And feeling all around better.
So nice try Mr. Gremlin and muscles,
But I’m not stoppin anytime soon.

Take a look at my 100th post celebration...
it's somewhat long but I promise you're going to pee your pants laughing.
If not,
then you have no sense of humor ;)


  1. I agree about that gremlin.
    He can bite me.

  2. You're killin me, smalls!
    "Like Lance Armstrong having sex with his one nut!"